How to Love Someone Who Causes You Pain

Scripture tells us that it is easy to love someone who loves you back. However, we are commanded to love our enemies as well. This poses an even greater hurdle depending on the nature and volatility of the relationship.

Why Should I Love Those That Hate Me?

That is a good question. The simple answer is that God says so, but that’s not really enough. Plus, if you think that your situation is really tough to deal with, just look at Jesus.

People (badly) mocked Jesus. This wasn’t gentle teasing- this was literally putting him down. This was making fun of everything that He said and stood for. This was verbally abusing him, and treating Him as though He was less of a person. Sure, they may have thought that He had some kind of disorder or was delusional. Yet, He didn’t deserve the treatment He received.

They not only mocked Him, but they mocked God as well. They questioned His sovereignty telling Him to ask His God to save Him if He was indeed the Messiah.

They beat him within one lash of his death. As if this wasn’t enough, they crucified Him for acts He didn’t commit. They saw Him as a heretic.

At the beginning of His ministry, they made fun of Him sitting with sinners. He befriended the lowest of the low. Even those that despised Jesus, He showed no hatred towards. He only showed signs of anger once (at the temple where people were exchanging money). He put up with more than what we have ever had to endure or will endure on earth.

Jesus Lost Everything and Still Chose Love

If you think that your situation is bad, look no further than Jesus in comparison. If you have ever experienced:

  • Friends/family rejecting you in your moment of need- Jesus experienced in with Peter
  • Being abandonned– The disciples did that while Jesus was praying and when He was crucified
  • People mocking your choices- Oh so many scriptures!
  • Belittling you for who you are or trying to make you look bad- The Pharasees did it all the time
  • Faced persecution– Jesus throughout His ministry
  • And more.

Everything you have experienced at the hands of someone else, Jesus has experienced it as well. He could have gotten angry. Perhaps He should have retaliated- it would have been easy. Instead, He chose to love those that were deplorable. Not nasty, not mean, but who literally tried to discredit Him by any means necessary.

If He can do it, so can we.


Our Sepetember issue discusses how to love those that bring you pain. It can be a family member, friend, or someone at church or work that just won’t let up.

Alexis Wohler will teach you how to heal from this situation, and how to gain victory over those who deliberately try to hurt you. Why? The reason is that the world is full of hurting, angry people who hurt others in their pain. While it isn’t fair, knowing that the other person is hurt themselves can make the difference. While it doesn’t excuse their behavior, it can make for an incredible testimony!

Resolve your own hurt and learn the freedom that comes with loving on your enemies in our next issue coming out on August 26, 2021.

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