Are your children seeing a godly leader, or a do as I say parent?
Splashed all over the media are books, slogans, motivational resources, etc all devoted to being a good leader… in business, in the workplace, and sometimes in church. Not many resources are written on leading well in the home, what it looks like, nor what it entails.
Relating to the home, most resources will tell you how to be a good spouse, good parent, or how to strengthen your marriage. But what about how to lead well in your home? What about the roles and responsibilities that each member in that home carries, and who deals with the mixed messages that society is drilling into our children?
How are our children going to be able to lead well if they are being pummelled with messages such as:
- If you’re a female, you don’t need a male to raise a child. Men are relegated to a position of almost being a “sperm donor” then playing an active role by raising a child.
- Girls are not just being taught that they can do an equally good job as a male (as God gave each gifts and talents), but that they are better than a man- only if they push hard, work hard, and are aggressive- almost to the point of being a man.
- The ideology translates into the home when women usurp a husband’s role within the home, or the husband is so beaten down that he’s passive.
- Boys are being taught not that they should work alongside their wives, but often that they should take a backseat.
- Boys are not taught that they should be the spiritual leaders of the home, nor are women taught that they are head of the home. Head of the home does not mean that her place is that of a housewife, but that she is to take care of her home and children. She is in charge of ensuring that everything runs smoothly, and training her children in the ways of the Lord.
- They are not being taught submission in a godly context. The prevailing thought still is that submission is that the husband is greater than the wife, and she is to do everything he says without question. This is not submission at all.
Other issues exist as well, and many of them have been common throughout the ages. They deal mostly with character.
You Need To Lead By Example!
Most parents fail to recognize that we are the examples. We cannot preach what we don’t practise to our children- that makes us hypocrites. If we, ourselves, don’t want to follow a hypocrite, what makes you think that your child wants to? To them, much like us, it seems like a double-standard, and they loose respect when they see you not following your own rules.
Yet if we don’t lead well, or we chose not to even lead at all, what happens to the next generation? Sure, discipline is tough for all involved, and most of the time we wonder who is being punished more- them or us. However, it is necessary in order for them to grow to be responsible adults.
Children lacking discipline, structure and rules don’t know how to survive in society- which is loaded with discipline (prison), structure (how to function day to day, achieve, and get things done), and rules (law). Plus their authority (police, judge) is scarier than that of a parent, and the penalties are harsher.
Simply put, what we learn at home, what is expected of us, what behaviours are deemed acceptable, translates out into the world. Question is, what do you want the world to look like? What do you want your children’s future to look like?
In our March issue, we discuss how to lead well in the home. We reiterate the roles that God has ordained each person to fulfill, and we clear up common misconceptions surrounding these roles.
When everyone does their role, despite what society says, there is harmony. Discontentment, frustration, anger, and feeling overwhelmed are all indicators that something is not quite right, or priorities are out of order.
If you are at this stage, this issue is definitely for you because it will give you guidelines to try, and renew your hope. You won’t be relegated to a role that you don’t want, but you will gain an understanding of the role that you are to play and why. The anger and outrage at these “self-imposed, backwards-thinking roles” is that they are misconstrued by society and taken in a direction that is not what God is saying at all. They don’t line up with scripture.
Learn the truth, and then walk in the victory. Let peace and harmony reign at home, because when there is peace in the home, there is peace everywhere else. Learn how to lead with excellence in this area. You won’t be sorry that you did!
Our next issue comes out on February 26, 2019.