Each of us has needs, but are we looking in the right place when we need them met?
And that is the million-dollar question! We all have needs, and it is disappointing when they are left. unfulfilled. It can leave us feeling rejected, unwanted, and not cherished by your spouse. Yet many of us don’t know which needs our spouses should meet, and what needs only God can meet. Herein lies our conundrum!
Life would definitely be more peaceful if we could reconcile when to go to God, and when to look to our spouse. Unfortunately, many of us turn too quickly to our spouses to fulfill unmet expectations only to be disappointed with the results. This disappointment often causes us to lash out in desperation. This leads to spousal frustration when they are trying their best.
We think that our spouses have failed us… They should have known, somehow, that they were responsible for meeting this need. “They don’t love us enough to care!” we dramatically tell ourselves in our own self-induced pity-party. But we never stop in all of the drama to ask ourselves, “But what if they weren’t designed to meet that specific need?” Then we are barking up the wrong tree… so to speak.
Needs: Who to turn to?
There are needs that your spouse should fulfill, and many of us, unfortunately, don’t know what they are. So how can we meet them? There are also needs that only God can fulfill. But if we can’t discern what they are, then how can they be met? Your spouse wasn’t meant to meet them. Yet all of the nagging isn’t doing the marriage any good, either. We are asking the wrong person for the wrong thing.
Margo McKenzie discusses what characteristics/things spouses should expect from each other according to scripture. She will discuss why they are important to meet these needs in your marriage in order to build a firm foundation.
She will also go into depth as to what needs God will meet in your life- but she goes deeper. Margo will also talk about how to get these needs met when they may feel so foreign to you. For example, there are those that yearn to be loved, and that is a need for Christ to fulfill. Yet many of us have difficulty FEELING that love of Christ. It is foreign to us, yet so necessary for our emotional wholeness.
This feature and more in our next issue of Faith Filled Family Magazine coming out on December 28, 2019.