How do you see God? Sometimes in every believer’s life, God seems absent or distant. In the depths of our despair, we cry out and feel like our pleas are falling on deaf ears. If it goes on long enough, we begin to question whether God answers prayers. We question whether we understood Him or the Bible well enough. Silently, we ponder why this is happening to search for answers when the problem sometimes is our thinking.
What if I told you that the answer you may be seeking could be within your understanding of who God really is?
Often, if we just change our perspective, life takes on a whole new meaning. It not only shifts how we think of our Heavenly Father but also changes our existing relationships. Here is how everything changes once we make that shift.
What Don’t We Understand?
It is not about a misunderstanding. The shift needs to happen in our thinking. Most of us have an excellent imagination, but we use them for bad purposes. What if we could use our imagination for something good… something that would give us hope instead of despair? Here are some examples.
My Spouse Doesn’t Treat Me Right
There are spouses who don’t know how to treat the other person. It may be they refuse, they are distracted, bitter, or they simply don’t have the skills. You may feel like they don’t care, alone, discarded, unloved, and lonely. Gazing at other happy couples you may feel that sense of longing and maybe even a twinge of envy.
“Why can’t that be me?”
You have every right to feel the way you are feeling, but don’t get stuck there. That is what the enemy wants. He wants to steal your joy, your happiness, and your hope for a brighter future. Don’t let him have what is yours. These things are all promises from God.
My Parents Don’t Approve of Me/They Aren’t Loving
Cold, distant parents are not uncommon. Some parents have allowed life’s cares to make them bitter. Others just never developed the skills to be loving, nurturing parents. They simply don’t know how because they have never been taught or experienced it.
There are some who are overly critical, pushy, demanding, and harsh. Nothing you do is good enough for them. The silent message they give is that you will never live up to their expectations. You feel like a failure.
Why can’t they just love me for who I am?
Your Perspective is Flawed
I know, it seems harsh, and it is not meant to be. It is, however, designed to get your attention and get you thinking differently. We place our attention and affection too much in others, sometimes. They become more of a god in our own life than the one who saved us. Scripture tells us that God is a jealous God. Yet, in our misery, sometimes our focus shifts. Here is the reality…
If you feel neglected or unloved by your spouse, God sees. You may want your spouse’s heart to change and God may have a work in progress. Sometimes things take time and we need to be patient. Yet it doesn’t mean that while we are waiting we need to suffer. We just need to shift our thinking.
What Should We Think Instead?
Let’s take it from what God is saying. God sees how that spouse is treating you. Here is the reality of that situation.
God weeps for the way you feel. You are His son/daughter, and He loves you more than you know. To see you hurting, pains Him too. But it is not only you that He weeps for. He weeps for the son/daughter that has chosen to go down this path. God sees the end result (you leaving them, the potential for an affair, the hurt, the destruction of marriage) and He doesn’t want His children to experience that.
Our Heavenly Father loves us so much that He doesn’t want us to experience the pain of our own poor choices. God will tell us through the Holy Spirit to stop, but sometimes we don’t listen or through our own unhappiness we continue. God exclaims for the individual to stop before it is too late knowing what the path if left uncorrected will lead to. Our Father knows that it doesn’t just affect one person but two. Yet sometimes, our stubborn thinking prevents us from seeing the truth.
God feels the pain. He weeps because He doesn’t want either party to hurt. God loves you that much.
For the person feeling rejected, you can’t change your spouse’s heart. Only God can. So, in the meantime, know that you serve a God who loves you more than you know. Often, our needs are deficits in our relationship with God. Due to how we view God, sometimes we search for our spouses to fill that void when it should be God.
Change Your Thinking
Instead of thinking no one loves me and I am all alone, know that you serve a God who sees. He doesn’t like what is going on, nor your pain. However, He is also telling you to come to Him to heal your brokenness while He works on your spouse.
The sad reality is that until the person softens their heart, there is nothing God can do. Keep praying, though, as God can perform miracles. But remaining in despair will steal what is rightfully yours: joy. Instead, while waiting, know that God loves you and weeps right alongside you. Use your imagination to see God wiping away every shed tear. He is placing His arms around you holding you tight. He is whispering in your ear that everything will be alright. God has got this and He is the one you need.
God loves your spouse, too. He doesn’t like to see division. God is so loving, that no matter how many times we sin if we repent (apologize from our hearts with sincerity) He will forgive us. The Lord loves us that much. He tells us “sin no more”. Sin isn’t a restriction – something that we can’t do like God is taking away something enjoyable. Sin only feels good in the moment.
Turn the Wheel! Danger Ahead!
God is looking at your spouse with loving eyes. He is screaming for them to stop because He sees the outcome. He is telling you, “Son/daughter, I love you so much that I don’t want you to hurt or experience pain. Yet, the road you are on will only lead to your own destruction. I want to spare you from the pain. Please stop because I only want what is best for you.”
As a parent, this is understandable. The problem is, that we see God as a foreigner as opposed to the perfect parent.
How Do I See God as the Perfect Parent When Mine Hurt Me?
You may have had a difficult childhood and a strained relationship with your own earthly parent(s). That was them, and not God. If you are searching for love and acceptance, you may not get it from them. So, stop looking to them for something they can’t give right now.
Instead, look to the one who tells you “I love you” every day. He accepts you for who you are without question. God will bind up your wounds, and fill you with His love. Best of all, there are no conditions.
So, Who is God?
God is the one that…
- When you need money is the person that you can ask for help. He is our provider. (Philippians 4:19)
- Feeling stressed? He is the one who will remove your burdens and give you peace. (Isaiah 58:6, Psalm 55:22, Matthew 11:28-30)
- Feeling like a failure or like your life is hopeless? God provides you with a future and a hope. (John 15:16, Psalm 37: 23-24)
These are only a few things about God. The list is infinite if you search for them.
The Solution?
Choose today, right now, to see God for who He is. Not as a foreign identity floating out in space, but something that is real yet someone that is perhaps unfamiliar according to our experiences. Don’t let others cloud how you see Christ. This is stealing from your joy. See God for who He truly is.
Look at what you need. Search for it in God. Ask Him to fulfill that need for you. Instead of doing things on your own strength and stressing out, see God as a loving Father. It is not up to you to provide. God is our provider. Make a shift in your thinking.
Tell yourself God is your provider. Ask Him for provision in any area. Choose to see Him as the loving Father He is. Someone who says, ” I see what you need and I will give it to you. I won’t leave you or abandon you. Be comforted that I am right beside you through it all. I love you more than you know.”
Choose not to see them as your earthly parent. That is not who God is. He is much better (sorry parents). When we turn to Him, our brokenness lifts, we heal, our faith is restored, we are comforted, and we experience joy. By thinking/reflecting/meditating on what scripture says, we will see the truth in God’s Word. This is where healing starts – when we see His lovingkindness and majesty.
Or, you can continue to spiral into pain. But who really wants that, anyway?
