Sometimes Silence isn’t always golden
“Boy, you could hear a pin drop in this place,” you quietly comment to yourself at dinnertime. “Why is he not talking? Surely he has something to say about his day. Anything would be welcome other than the usual silence… What’s happened to us?”
While we all hope for an environment free of arguing, sometimes silence indicates that the other person has given up communicating with you. If your house is constantly filled with silence, the marriage could be doing a very slow fade. That being said, sometimes silence is just that… silence because the other person doesn’t have anything to share.
Silent differences between the sexes
When a man is silent, a woman can usually tell that something is bothering him. Unless the relationship has deteriorated to the point that she really doesn’t care, she will tend to ask him what is wrong.
A man who is silent and brooding usually means that he is “stonewalling” his wife. It is a silent form of punishment wherein he wants her to know that he’s really upset, but is too upset to talk. Sometimes she may get a response, but most of the time he will retreat into his silence until he is ready to talk. Most times, all a wife can do is wait.
When a woman is silent, she could be stonewalling. But more often than not she has given up communicating. She feels that she is not being heard, and is tired of repeating herself. It takes a great deal for most women to abandon a relationship, and to stop communicating. But here is where things go wrong…
Silence to a man…
When a wife is silent, a man assumes everything is okay. She’s not talking, so she must not have anything to say. She’s not complaining or “nagging”, so things must be good. He lulls himself into a fallacy until he hears the words, “I think we need to separate.” Then he wonders what went wrong… She didn’t say anything to indicate that she was unhappy. I didn’t know that she was miserable.
Silence can be worked out, but there comes a time when it reaches emotional abandonment wherein your spouse has completely emotionally checked out of the relationship. They just don’t care. They aren’t there for you, anymore. They are not a source of support. It can be the most loneliest place in the world.
Andrea Marino discusses what emotional abandonment looks like within a marriage, why it occurs, and how to heal it within your marriage. She goes through not only the devastating effects on the marriage but the emotional havoc to the person who is on the receiving end.
Help your marriage to heal… We give you tips on strengthening your marriage in our next issue of Faith Filled Family Magazine coming out on December 28, 2019!