Oh those punchlines! Men, have you ever dismissed your wife’s feelings by staying, “Must be that time of the month”? Ladies, have you criticized your husband for not cleaning up after himself- when he just got home after a hard day? It’s the things that we laugh about in a conversation, and “pat ourselves on the back” that we would never do something that silly… But we do it anyway! We laugh at the manager who had their secretary buy their spouse a gift because they either forgot, or were too busy, and yet we completely forgot our anniversary. When I say forgot, I mean no gift, no “happy anniversary”, nothing… That is, until our spouse explodes angrily at us for forgetting.
All it takes is a little consideration, and a lot less “taking for granted” to cement a solid relationship. It takes a little more consideration, compassion, and watching your words in order to draw your spouse closer. It’s not that you lie to them- not at all! Just be mindful of their feelings. For those impossible situations, such as “Does this dress make me look fat?” Well, just be honestly creative.
Kristi Bridges discusses “how not to fry your marriage” in our upcoming issue. It is riddled with common “punchlines” that frequently happen in a marriage, and is a list of what not to do. The article describes some common situations that we find ourselves in (usually inadvertently) that can quickly “tank” your marriage if left unaddressed. While it is a very serious topic, Kristi interweaves humour into such a delicate topic. Here is an excerpt of what to look forward to:
“You probably shouldn’t call your man Sugar Lump or Hunka-hunka Burnin’ Love in public, but a little flirting behind closed doors never hurts. You could go Shakespearean:
“Thou art a rare tiger-booted cukoo-bird.”
“Come to me, my gallant, thunder-darting wafer-cake! “
You could try what worked for Solomon:
Song of Solomon 4:1,2 NLT “Your eyes are like doves…your hair falls in waves like a flock of goats. Your teeth are like a flock of sheep, recently shorn and freshly washed.”
Song of Solomon 4:9 NLT “You have captured my heart, my treasure, my bride. You hold it hostage with one glance of your eyes.” (That one’s pretty smooth!)
Song of Solomon 5:13-15 NLT “His cheeks are like gardens of spices giving off fragrance. His lips are like lilies, perfumed with myrrh.” (We love it when our man smells good!) “His arms are like rounded bars of gold…His legs are like marble pillars set in sockets of finest gold.” (Studmuffin!)
You could try the modern approach of Daily Odd Compliments:
“Babe, you could never be ice cream. You’re too hot. And a person.”
“If it were legal to marry food, I’d still choose you over pizza.”
It might do more good to learn what your mate values and compliment those things. My husband values his peaceful nature and talent for meeting people’s needs. When we’re in a group of friends, I tell people, “He always calms me down,” and “He is so considerate.” When we’re alone, I catch him doing nice things and thank him.”
And that’s only an excerpt!
For the engaged, you will laugh and learn what pitfalls to avoid. For the married, you will either laugh, or end up doing “damage control”. Whatever you do, please ensure that your marriage doesn’t become just one of those punchlines.
Our June issue comes out on May 28, 2018!